


Even When We're Apart (I'll Always Love You)

by SierraElise



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Communication, Established Relationship, Fluff, Healthy Relationships, Insecure Alec, Kissing, M/M, Post-Episode: s02e10 By The Light Of Dawn, Understanding Magnus, malec feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 10:56:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11183667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SierraElise/pseuds/SierraElise
Summary: "Magnus knew that Alec was still rather insecure regarding himself in their relationship—he knew that Alec constantly worried if what he was doing was enough or maybe even too much when it came to Magnus—and the Warlock couldn’t blame his Nephilim for these insecurities; he’s well-aware that Magnus is Alec’s first everything, a thought that both terrifies and immensely pleases the Warlock. Magnus does his best to show just how happy he is being with Alec—happier than he has ever, ever been, truly—but somehow the younger still finds reasons to worry. Magnus imagines that, moments like these when he’s caught off guard and not actually trying to reassure his younger lover—when he’s simply saying what’s true and not what he feels like he needs to say—are the moments that mean the most to Alec himself."(Or in other words; Alec and Magnus haven't been spending much time together recently, and Alec worries that this might change Magnus' feelings about them. Magnus just wants Alec to realize how much he loves him)





	Even When We're Apart (I'll Always Love You)

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot is set some indistinct time into the future, and was created merely out of my love for an insecure Alec and a more than understanding Magnus. I thought a nice, fluffy one-shot would be nice to have after everything that's happened with Magnus on the show.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> (Note: 'Aku mencintaimu juga' translates into 'I love you too')  
> Also, I am very sorry if Magnus or Alec (or both) seem OOC. I haven't written too many fics for them so I'm still trying to get their characterization better under control.

They had barely had an opportunity to see each other for the past week, despite sharing a bed every night. Magnus was immensely busy tending to his Downworlders after having become an increasingly influential figure within the community, and ever since Alec had been deemed as Head of Institute it was as if he couldn’t get a moment away from it. Alec hadn’t had the opportunity to have even a simple conversation with the Warlock in what feels like forever, and the Shadowhunter would be lying if he said that didn’t worry him. It was the first time he’s had to deal with this—the constant separation—and he constantly worried if Magnus would grow tired of it.

Alec would hate himself if his boyfriend started to feel ignored, because Alec knows he’s been caught up in his work a little bit too much lately, and the fear of Magnus becoming upset over it was prominent in Alec’s mind at all times of the day. He loves Magnus, more than he thinks he’s ever loved anything or anyone, he just hopes that Magnus wouldn’t start doubting that.

But it wasn’t just the fear of Magnus doubting Alec’s own feelings that he worried over, and it was also, admittedly, Alec doubting Magnus’ feelings. Magnus hasn’t done anything for the Nephilim to justifiably feel this way, but the younger has never been in a relationship before Magnus, this is the first time he’s ever dealt with a situation like this, and the thought of Magnus becoming distant over this almost constant separation made Alec almost stop breathing.

What if Magnus lost interest?

What if Magnus wanted more?

What if Magnus stopped loving him? That’s a plausible question, right?

So yes, maybe his worries were a _bit_ ridiculous, when he really thought about. Who just falls out of love with somebody? But even when knowing that he was, more than likely, worrying over these things for no reason, he still couldn’t stop these thoughts from coming. He couldn’t just push this insecurity away, so as he unashamedly gazed at his boyfriend’s sleeping form after finally having arrived back home from the Institute for the night—the clock reading a devastating two AM—as if he were that ridiculous sparkling-vampire Magnus had made him watch in the Twilight movie—Alec couldn’t help himself any longer, and he leans closer towards his sleeping boyfriend, reaching out to touch his cheek as gently as possible as to not startle him as he whispered, “Magnus…”

Magnus lets out an instinctual groan from deep within his throat. Sleep was still heavy on his mind and threatening to pull him under at any second, but he knew that voice—could tell that voice apart from anyone—and he could never deny the speaker.

He rolls onto his back, his eyes cracking open as he sets his sights on the Nephilim. The first thing he notices are those beautiful hazel eyes staring at him with that familiar look he reserves only for Magnus, but the second thing catches his attention the most; he was still fully clothed and in his gear, nonetheless, and suddenly Magnus found himself scowling, “Who’s hurt this time?” he asks, somewhat grumpily as he moved to sit up.

 It was an all too reoccurring thing for Magnus to wake up to; Alec needing his help after one of his siblings or Clary, once even Simon, had gotten a little too reckless during a mission.

“No one’s hurt, actually, ” the Shadowhunter instantly replies, shifting around nervously, his eyes darting quickly around the room before finally settling on Magnus again, as if he were afraid to state the reason why he had awakened Magnus at a rather bewitching hour to the Warlock himself. “I just really need to tell you something,” he explains.

Magnus’ gaze softens immediately, suddenly feeling bad for having snapped at the boy, and he lifts his head, now more awake as he inquires, “What is it? Is something wro—”

Alec cuts the warlock off by smashing his lips against his boyfriends. Magnus jumps, surprised, his eyes growing wide for a split second before he kissed back, finally relaxing from his sudden fright, and closing his eyes in retaliation.

Alec doesn’t let up for awhile and their mouths continue to move against each others in a perfect unison, to a melody that only they seemed to be able to hear. The young Shadowhunter did his best to pour out every emotion and thought considering his and Magnus’ relationship into the kiss, passion and love radiating off of him so brightly that Magnus—eight hundred year old Magnus—flushed brightly as Alec kissed him, his hands flying up to grip his boyfriend’s leather jacket, attempting to ground himself as his mind swam in both ecstasy and shock.

No matter how inexperienced Alec is, compared to Magnus, he’s never failed in sweeping the Warlock off his feet every time. Most people would believe Magnus to be the romantic, mushy-gushy one in the relationship—and he is, mind you—but what most don’t anticipate is that Alec can be just as bad, and even worse, than Magnus himself. It’s a delightful little secret in their relationship that Magnus has no qualms in keeping all to himself.

Finally, after what feels like eternity—not that Magnus minded, _at all_ —Alec pulls back, the need to breathe too great, and they’re both panting as the younger rests his forehead against Magnus’, whispering a sweet and simple, “I love you,” as he did so.

Magnus blinks, taken back by both the sudden kiss and declaration, but his pleasantly surprised expression morphs quickly into a look of absolute adoration and fondness, his eyes softening into a puddle of affection and tenderness for the Shadowhunter before him. “I love you, too, angel,” he replies, as if it were as easy as breathing, and to Magnus, loving Alec, was just as essential.

Alec smiles, blushing at the nickname that Magnus knows he enjoys most out of all of them, and leans forward to kiss him again. It wasn’t frantic and deep as the one from before, but no less love was shared between the two as they simply kissed to kiss, satisfied and happy.

This time it’s Magnus who pulls back though, one eyebrow raised at the Archer as a thought suddenly occurred to him. “Did you really wake me up at two in the morning just to tell me you love me or was there another message?”

 Alec’s blush reddened even further, something Magnus took absolute delight in, and he shook his head, his gaze finding the bed in favor of looking into Magnus’ own eyes as he admitted, “N—No, that was it, actually,” his expression sheepish and embarrassed. He glanced back up at the older, “I just—we haven’t had the chance to really be with each other lately, which I wish I could change, and I haven’t really taken the time to actually tell you recently and I—I don’t want you to think our time apart makes me love you any less or something...”

It’s a wonder how he hasn’t melted into a puddle of absolute fondness from dating Alec Lightwood, Magnus can admit to himself.

Despite the Warlock’s confusion over why Alec would think he would think that, Magnus takes a moment to think back on everything that’s happened, everything that they’ve been through together so far and all that this sweet Nephilim, currently gazing at him as if Magnus were his whole world and more, has done for him. From reminding Magnus of what it’s like to feel love and be loved in return, from being there for Magnus just as the Warlock was there for him, from protecting Magnus in any instance he could as if it were as easy as breathing.

Magnus himself has given so much to and for Alec—his heart, his soul, his protection, his guidance and everything else in between—and never once has Alec taken it for granted as so many lovers have done in the past. Alexander Lightwood has been the first to give back instead of merely taking—he’s been the first to accept Magnus’ heart and trustingly, _wantingly_ , giving the Warlock his own in return—and with this in mind it felt natural and the genuine truth to say, “I could never forget that.”

Alec blinks at him, staring for a long moment, before a smile slowly spreads out on his face and his eyes are lighting up like lamps. “So I _am_ doing something right, then?”

Magnus laughs and nods his head, “You are doing so many things right, Alexander,” and he meant it.

He knew that Alec was still rather insecure regarding himself in their relationship—he knew that Alec constantly worried if what he was doing was enough or maybe even too much when it came to Magnus—and the Warlock couldn’t blame his Nephilim for these insecurities; he’s well-aware that Magnus is Alec’s first everything, a thought that both terrifies and immensely pleases the Warlock. Magnus does his best to show just how happy he is being with Alec—happier than he’s ever been, truly—but somehow the younger still finds reasons to worry. Magnus imagines that, moments like these when he’s caught off guard and not actually trying to reassure his younger lover—when he’s simply saying what’s true and not what he feels like he needs to say—are the moments that mean the most to Alec himself.

Alec gives him a soft, happy smile. “I’m glad,” he says.

“Just out of curiosity,” Magnus starts, “what made you think that us not being able to spend much time together lately would make me think that you loved me less?”

Alec shrugs. “Nothing, really,” he murmurs, “I was just sitting at the Institute today, and I was thinking about you—”

Magnus held back a smirk at the blush that alighted his Nephilim’s face at the confession.

“—and it just occurred to me that it’s been awhile since we’ve had any time to just _be_ together. And I remember how my parents, before they separated, were always together, like us. Then everything just kind of fell apart for them after my dad started going to Idris more often for his job, and my mom stayed at the Institute for hers. They just...weren’t each other’s priority like before and I—I just don’t want something like that to happen to us.” Alec took a deep breath, and looked down at his hands, “And I know that I don’t feel any different about us and I just… wanted to make sure that you didn’t either.”

And there it was; Alec’s _real_ concern. It wasn’t just Alec fearing that Magnus doubted Alec’s love for him, although that was a part of it, it was that Alec doubted Magnus’ love for _him_.

“Alexander, I can assure you that us spending less time together lately has not made me doubt our relationship in the slightest, nor has it made me question any feelings,” Magnus reassures, gently, patiently. “Do you know why?”

Alec cocks an eyebrow, curious yet apprehensive, “Why?”

“Because I’m rather confident that we are not your parents, for one,” Magnus starts. “For two, I don’t need you telling me every second of every day that you love me to know that you do, no matter the fact that I wouldn’t protest it if you did—”

Alec rolls his eyes.

“—because you show me every day that you love me in a number of different ways, even if you don’t realize it yourself, and I hope that I’ve done the same thing for you—”

“—You have,” Alec interrupts. “You definitely have.”

Magnus smiles and chuckles, “I’m happy to hear that,” he admits before taking a deep breath, “because I would hate for you to doubt my love for you because of our situation, all the same. And I want you to know that, no matter what, I wouldn’t hesitate to drop anything and everything for you in a moments notice if need be.”

“Neither would I,” Alec whispers, and smiles.

“I know that,” Magnus nods, “and that’s exactly my point. I don’t doubt that you love me, Alexander, you’ve proven it enough times, and you should never doubt that I love you, either.”

Alec blushes, once again embarrassed. “I know that I shouldn’t, and I don’t _really_ , I just…” he trails off, not really knowing how to explain what he felt, or why he felt that way.

Luckily, Magnus always seemed to understand.

“You just needed to be sure,” Magnus finishes. “I get it. Everyone needs reassurance every once in awhile when it comes to being in a relationship, and I’m really glad that you came to me about it instead of keeping it all to yourself,” Magnus narrowed his eyes, “even if it did mean waking me up at two in the morning to do so.”

The blush deepened. “Sorry…”

Magnus waves off his apology. “Never mind that,” he says, reaching to gently grasp his boyfriend’s arm, “but do come to bed.”

Alec looks down at himself then back at Magnus, “I’ll have to change and get a showe—Ah, Magnus!” Alec jumps, startled when a cold breeze suddenly hit him and he looks down at himself, realizing that he’s now only in a pair of boxers, his gear off and the ichor gone from his body. He rolls his eyes and looks back at the older, “Did you really have to leave me in just boxers? It’s _freezing_ in here,” he comments, shivering slightly.

Magnus shrugs, “I suppose I didn’t have to, but I’ll admit it’s much more pleasing from my perspective.”

“Oh I’m sure.”

Magnus laughs and flops back down on his back, lifting up the covers and his arm. “Come to me, Angel," he says, his voice leaving no room for further discussion.

Alec rolls his eyes again and huffs, but moves to slip underneath the covers and curl up into Magnus’ side nonetheless, the Warlock wrapping his arm around him in return. “You have no problem with demanding what you want, do you?” he says, no real anger or annoyance to his voice.

“I’d think you’d have realized that by now,” Magnus muses, “if our sexytime activities have anything to do with it—”

“— _Shut up_!”

The Warlock snorts but obliges, pulling the younger one closer and revelling in the content sigh that left his boyfriend’s lips at the action, his heart fluttering as the Nephilim curled up even more into his side. Cuddling with Alec was always his favorite thing to do, whether when he was big spoon or little spoon, and as they both relaxed further Magnus suddenly realized just how much he really had been missing this. Sure, they slept by each other every night, tangled together underneath the sheets, but it was only ever just sleeping. They haven’t gotten the opportunity to just relax and enjoy being together like they both so desperately wanted to do, so to have this moment, right now, felt like heaven to the Warlock.

Clearly, the Nephilim cuddled up into his side was having the same thoughts as he lifted his head off of Magnus’ chest, his hazel eyes meeting Magnus’, now unglamoured, yellow ones. For a moment, they simply stared at each other—Alec taking in the sudden sight of the beautiful cat eyes he loved so dearly as Magnus merely stared at the Shadowhunter as if he had hung the moon and all the stars—before Alec smiled and opened his mouth—

“Aku cinta kamu,” Magnus speaks first, beating Alec to it.

Alec’s smile broadens, “Aku mencintaimu juga.”

Magnus’ eyes widened in disbelief, his mouth hanging open slightly, as Alec just laughed and rested his head back on Magnus’ chest, closing his eyes.

The last thing he heard before falling into a blissful sleep was Magnus whispering, as he shook his head in fond wonder, “You never cease to amaze me, Alexander.”


End file.
